December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors). (Author: Ali Edwards)
This was a tough one to write about… I thought about branding, seeing Grammy in the nursing home, holding Cade Paul for the first time, cowboy church with Susie McEntire, Blaze getting on his first bucking horse, standing on a snowy mountain in Colorado. These were the “big” moments, but after pondering, my “moment” stood out. This was a moment that was mine and mine alone. It was random and perfect.
This was a evening in June. The warmth of the Wyoming sun was still trying to linger but the evening cool was creeping up through the grass. I had just finished riding Peewee. I had taken him out and down the road ditch. Twice as far as our normal evening ride, probably because I was worried about work. The funny thing about worry is you usually don’t remember what the “worry” is months later.
But after my ride and stood brushing Peewee longer than usual. He was getting impatient, the other horses were already in the far corner of the pasture. He sighed heavily and turned to look at me. I realized I had been standing there brushing him for quite some time. His eyes pleaded with me, just let me go lady. So I reached up scratched his ears and eased his halter off. I expected him to walk out the alley of the barn. But he didn’t, instead he stepped behind me and gave me a nudge with his big ole head. I laughed and tripped forward. He nudged again until I was out the door. This time I turned and scratched his ears again, he started walking forward. We slowly walked out a little ways until the grass was up past my knees. Satisfied with the grass selection Peewee stopped and dropped his head and started munching. This was a little strange, usually he would have run out to join the other horses.
He was content to stay right where he was at. I decided to try that approach as well. I laughed and dropped into the grass. It was cool and sweet. It covered me and tickled my bare arms. I pondered what it took for a horse to be content. Then I thought about how easy it was for me to be content. I had a perfect house, barn, horse, husband, job, car, family, etc. etc. I thought to myself, I want to record this moment in my memory. I want to commit to remembering this moment. I could hear Peewee munching grass, KLOVE was blaring on the radio in the barn, far off in the house I could hear Colt talking on the phone. I could smell fresh cut grass, dirt, and horse sweat. I could see vivid green grass, Wyoming’s big blue sky and every so often Peewee’s tail would interrupt the view. I breathed in and out slowly and listened for my heart beating. And then I prayed, I prayed to God more earnestly than I had prayed in a long time. I didn’t pray for life to be easier, I didn’t pray for my job to be better, for my Mom to win the lotto, for Colt to pay more attention to me, I didn’t pray for more money. I didn’t pray for more, I didn’t pray for better. I simply prayed thanks. It was a long list of thanks that was unfortunately a long time coming. When I finally breathed an Amen, my perfect moment was interrupted by my favorite perfect interruption. “What are you doing?” Colt was standing in the door of the barn, holding baby cat rubbing her fat belly. “Oh, umm, nothing, I mean I was trying to get a picture of Peewee, the light is just right tonight, ummm isnt it beautiful?” I stood up quickly, fumbled for my phone in my back pocket and smoothed grass out of my hair. “Crap! How long had he been standing there? I feel like such a dork!” He grinned, shook his head put the cat down and reached for my phone. “You have the angle all wrong!” Then he took this photo,